Mar 5, 2007

Wall Street Idioms For Layoffs

#1 Downsizing – A term constantly used to indicate layoffs are planned for U.S. workers. Trite, overused and always rewarded with a small pop in the stock. Very commonly used to cover the costs incurred in the companies stock option plan.

#2 Synergize Efficiencies – Another way of saying #1.

#3 Offshoring – Contracting production or services to companies outside the United States. Usually precedes #1.

#4 Nearshoring – This is a new term that is being used to demonstrate that management is concerned with the customer experience. Usually precedes #1.

#5 Economic Resizing – See # 1.

#6 Restructuring – See # 1.

#7 Production Realignment – See #1.

#8 Globalization – We’re building new facilities out of the United States and we are going to #1 our U.S. work force.

#9 Accelerated Retirement Program – Downsizing targeted at the companies over 50 crowd. Very vogue and just coming into style because it eliminates the companies highest paid and most expensive workers. The loss of the companies most loyal experienced workers seems to be just a perk.

#10 Economic Realignment – A contemporary term used by economists to indicate that it is a good thing that jobs are leaving the U.S.. The switch from higher paying manufacturing and technical jobs to lower paying service positions is actually part of the natural order and needs to be accepted with a smile.